Baby: J.B.
a baby blog by S. Sarino
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Winnie the Pooh in rehab
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Or see the first JB movie.
New Skill: The ability to say "Eeyore"

A tradition at the Sarino house is to read little JB a story before she goes to sleep. Last night I picked up one of the Winnie the Pooh stories.

To my alarm I soon realized that I was giving my daughter a self-help allegory in how to become an addict. Yes, Edward Pooh, also known as Winnie the Pooh, or Pooh for short, is an addict. Why isn't this on the cover of every Disney-equivalent of Star magazine.

In this fine episode, Pooh happens upon his friend Eeyore, who is clearly clinically depressed, still undiagnosed by the forest quacks, possibly actual ducks. Eeyore is upset because it's his birthday and EVERYONE forgot. Of course. It's a classic cycle of depression, self-hate, and societal rejection.

But Pooh decides to make right, so he goes home to get a gift. What does he decide, Honey. Honey is like Crack to Pooh bear and we soon see the extent of his addiction.

First, Piglet arrives and asks if he can go in halfsies on the honey gift for Eeyore. Displaying classic signs of paranoia and manic rage, Pooh refuses to share even the name of who the gift was for. But we soon see that Pooh had something else in mind.

Once Piglet is safely out of sight, Pooh Bear proceeds to eat the entire jar of honey without saving one drop for his now suicidal friend Eeyore. This is the equivalent of Eeyore asking Pooh to go to the pharmacy to pick up his Prozac and Pooh eating the entire prescription on the way back to Eeyore.

Of course, he does so in a kind of loveable, hapless, singing bear kind of way, which leads the rest of the forest to levels of enabling untold in children's lit. No doubt he'd soon invent a little diddy about MAO inhibitors (Trum de dum dee dee/ More Zoloft for me!). But the rest of the forest is no better!

Tigger clearly is on uppers (amphetamines, Sudafed, you name it). Piglet has done some serious usage, stunting his growth. And Christopher Robin, he of course is the most hopeless case of all. The classic middle class youth, gone astray in a land of mushrooms and herbs, only to spend the rest of his life talking to animals and leading the itinerant life of a recluse in the woods.

Need I say more. I could not even read to the end of the story. And the other day, I caught JB with her face smothered in HONEY!


Mommy and Me and the lowly Dad:

Toys everywhere. Kids climbing over kids like monster trucks, smashing little buicks to pieces. Mommies swap complaints and tips. Jeranda is crying. Edgar has just his Aidan with a rabbit. A woman in the center is holding up a pie chart. I'm look frantically for J.B. who has snagged someone's car keys like I taught her. Welcome to "Mommy and Me."