New Skill: Pulling her little self up on the coffee table and pulling everything onto the floor.
Sometimes when the happy stranger comes along to poke and prod JB, instead of talking to her, or to me for that matter, they talk for her. It goes a little something like this, usually delivered in a ooshe-gooshe-goo voice that's always a hit with the kids:
"Are you cute? Are you cute? Oh, yes you are cute."
JB raises her eyebrows. They begin to fill in her thoughts, a la the Bruce Willis classic art film on child development: "Look Who's Talking." Soon though their exchange degenerates into their own insecurities:
You're probably thinking, 'Who's that weird person talking to me. Why is she talking as though I'm speaking. Hasn't she ever heard of third person? Doesn't she think I can speak for myself?'"
These ventriloquism lines come in all varieties and serve many purposes for the speaker.
- The Insecure:
- "Daddy, this woman is funny looking and she's saying strange things to me."
- "Who is this strange lady? Who is she? She's not in the 'Mommy and Me' class. She got ditched by her husband last week for a hooker in Reno."
- Correctional: (subtle hints for dear old Dad.)
- "Look how cold I am. My hands are sooo cold. I've lost feeling in my nostrils."
- "Daddy, get me back home to Mommy. She knows how to take care of me."
- "Oh, my Daddy wheels me all over creation in this damn stroller."
(I'd like to intervene to mention that Jenna only stares-with her Daddy-- at them in horror as they try to speak for her.)
Vain/Flattery: JB as DIVA.
- "Look how cute I am. Look at me in this cute little hat. Imagine how it would go with some sassy pumps."
- "I am the cutest little thing in the whole wide world. The cutest-utest-utest thing."
- (Honestly, I think JB is a bit more humble. I like to imagine the passerby saying this about themselves without the baby there. Then I could say, "Add an utest for me!").
- I know what you're thinking Jenna. You're asking, "What is going on? What is this all about? Who are these people? What is this place? Why do they call it stroller, yet I am compelled to sit in it?"
- Confessional: (Here it gets a little scary).
- "Oh, I'm so tired, Daddy. I'm so sick of it all. All this milk. Rice cereal. I just want to quit my job and role up into the little fetal position."
- Different Strokes-ian:
- "Whatchu Talkin' bout, Daddy?"
JB is quite tolerant throughout, but just wait till she starts talking back.
Let's talk about sex.
Freud talks about a "primal moment," when we see our parents having sex and are scarred for life. I used to think this a highly unlikely incident, surely I could never have been in such a spot where I was in anywhere near the same room as my parents. Surly they only had sex 3 times, one for each child, if that. Surely.