A short time before labor begins, a woman sometimes begins nesting...

My wife has been nesting since she was born, so she got this burst of energy three months before she gave birth. Our nest is apparently our entire house, so that meant three months of remodeling bathrooms, changing blinds, and ugh, cleaning my office.

I complained, "I don't think our baby will be able to file until she's three."

"That's okay," says my wife, "She'll be happy to teach you."

But why all this fuss about the house? Will our baby be born with a Home Depot - excuse me - EXPO - card in her mouth? Will she know the difference between tile and linoleum?

"I don't want her to even here the word linoleum until she's 16," says my wife.

"Then, she'll just learn from her friends," I say. "The next thing you know she'll be sneaking out at night to roll out the no-wax with her friends."

Of course, the infectious epidemic of spousal obsession is when the cleaning frenzy takes over me. I find myself pouring over Behr paint guides to Faux Finishes, studying the quality of light with "sponging on" versus "sponging off"!

I come home with a look of joy mixed with madness and paint an entire bathroom with a "faux cracked paint" finish.

"Great, honey," says my wife, looking around at my masterpiece, "But isn't this what we started with?"

God bless our home.

In the begining...

Paul Reiser is God. Yes, he is. Paul Reiser, that charming star of Mad About You, author of several influential books, and all around nice guy. He is God.

Why?
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